Better out than in. That goes for burps, sneezes, farts and
even words. You can talk to someone or write them down, words that is. And also keep it to yourself
or share it with the world. But better out than in, so here it goes....
Lately I have felt like I was a bit lost again. Not knowing what I would do next and not have a 'purpose' anymore. I always worked knowing I did that to save up to travel the world, to see new things, to go on new adventures and to just live my life without a care in the world. And to get my own appartment (rental). I have that now, I have a home or is it just a house? It's not quite finished and I want to do that asap, make it personal, make it me and hopefully it will be my home, mine and mine alone.
The other day, I felt like I was one of many. Getting up every day (well 4 days of the week) to go to work, work and then..see friends and family, do fun stuff, go out to dinner and not for a few months, but permanently. And really reconnect with everyone, get invested in peoples life again. Knowing if I would 'miss' anything it wasn't because I was away but just because I no longer needed or wanted to be part of it. And in other situations making an effort to be part of it a 100%! But still just work with no real purpose or plan in the future other than buy new stuff or go on a 2 week holiday I didn't really need to plan for. A friend told me that is what normal life looks like and what I used to do, wasn't. And I know that, but I enjoyed it, loved every second of it. And this life, this normal life takes getting used to. Be patient with me life, as I don't know what my cooked up brain will come up with next..if anything.
And to not be part of something a 100%, just 'flying' in and out of stories, lifes, situations makes it different. I used to miss bits and pieces, but now know complete stories. And in so, I formed an opinion, and I don't just nodd and smile, but I am acutally real with people and that hasn't always worked to my advantage. But I do see most of my friends as family, I love them, but that doesn't mean I always have to like them or their decissions. It makes me seem a bit harsh at times, I know. But ey, if you can't handle the truth, then don't tell me your story I guess. And sometimes I do think I might be better off nodding and smiling at everything that people say to me, but as I got older, I started to see things in a different perspective. I re-evaluated people and their purpose of sharing stuff with me. I also learned myself that just because you need to share something, doesn't mean people need to hear it. But again, better out then in, just make sure you share it with the right people. Anyways, I'm drifting off. I wonder what's next and also, well mostly, what do I want to do next. And honestly I have no clue yet and that, that scares me sometimes. And so for now, I follow the 'herd' and go about with my life, my normal life...wondering what's next..
Lately I have felt like I was a bit lost again. Not knowing what I would do next and not have a 'purpose' anymore. I always worked knowing I did that to save up to travel the world, to see new things, to go on new adventures and to just live my life without a care in the world. And to get my own appartment (rental). I have that now, I have a home or is it just a house? It's not quite finished and I want to do that asap, make it personal, make it me and hopefully it will be my home, mine and mine alone.
The other day, I felt like I was one of many. Getting up every day (well 4 days of the week) to go to work, work and then..see friends and family, do fun stuff, go out to dinner and not for a few months, but permanently. And really reconnect with everyone, get invested in peoples life again. Knowing if I would 'miss' anything it wasn't because I was away but just because I no longer needed or wanted to be part of it. And in other situations making an effort to be part of it a 100%! But still just work with no real purpose or plan in the future other than buy new stuff or go on a 2 week holiday I didn't really need to plan for. A friend told me that is what normal life looks like and what I used to do, wasn't. And I know that, but I enjoyed it, loved every second of it. And this life, this normal life takes getting used to. Be patient with me life, as I don't know what my cooked up brain will come up with next..if anything.
And to not be part of something a 100%, just 'flying' in and out of stories, lifes, situations makes it different. I used to miss bits and pieces, but now know complete stories. And in so, I formed an opinion, and I don't just nodd and smile, but I am acutally real with people and that hasn't always worked to my advantage. But I do see most of my friends as family, I love them, but that doesn't mean I always have to like them or their decissions. It makes me seem a bit harsh at times, I know. But ey, if you can't handle the truth, then don't tell me your story I guess. And sometimes I do think I might be better off nodding and smiling at everything that people say to me, but as I got older, I started to see things in a different perspective. I re-evaluated people and their purpose of sharing stuff with me. I also learned myself that just because you need to share something, doesn't mean people need to hear it. But again, better out then in, just make sure you share it with the right people. Anyways, I'm drifting off. I wonder what's next and also, well mostly, what do I want to do next. And honestly I have no clue yet and that, that scares me sometimes. And so for now, I follow the 'herd' and go about with my life, my normal life...wondering what's next..