28 years of age ^_^!

Made it! Haha. 

"Getting older sucks". Does it though? Looking back to last year (or years), there were times that I felt my body weakening but my mind usually strong as ever. Mind over body right? I sure as hell tried to! I sometimes felt confused and a bit lost but mostly I felt great, happy, hopeful and proud! Everything I have done, seen and experienced all contributed to these feelings! I learned that dreams were never meant to just come true. Not without teaching you how to work hard towards something, to believe, to dream, to hope.. And with all of that and perhaps a dash of luck..you'll get there, I got there!

And yeah, time does fly when you're having fun, yet I still feel like I have all the time in the world even though I do treat every second of every day as if they were my last, as usual living in between two extremes. And I've heard it before that time is of the essence.. But what if time is just time, just numbers, relevant yet irrelevant. You can try to control it or you can just try and let it be and enjoy the moment you are in right now. Whatever happens, happens...it's life. And when it happens just right, oh boy, what a feeling! I hope you all find something today to be happy about, something that puts a smile on your face or will even give you 'happy tears' and try to find that moment every day, I know I did :)! 

Happy 28th birthday to me.

I am a lost boy / A place to call home

"There was a time when I was alone, nowhere to go and no place to call home". The beginning of a song I first heard in the States about being a Lost Boy (from the Peter Pan story). After hearing it a few times, I began to like the song and hearing it again last week, I found meaning in it. Feeling at home wherever I go but not have a home that I can call my own, being 'lost' but also free. I've also noticed that I can get somewhat attached, but not so much to things, but to people or surroundings, to what can't be bought with money. I'm not sure if it's even being attached or just being used to it.

The other day when I walked from the car to the office building I work at, I looked up to the window on the first floor and I saw a familiar face, a face I see every other day, a face that I have been seeing for a few years now. And in this moment I realized that this would soon be it as my last day here is getting closer and that yes, I either got attached or used to it. And most of what I've done so far or felt attached or used to has been temporarily, but I have always done it with all my heart and given it my all, my best. And all of a sudden, it's like I do want to stay and like I did find my place in it all. But I also don't want to miss out on anything that is yet to come.

And so what do I always do when a chapter in my life is about to end? I start planning another one. Another trip, another activity, anything to keep me busy and happy. And again, maybe leave friends and family behind. And wondering from time to time if it's the right thing to do. I even applied for a job here, because I really am so confused as to what I want to do next...

I guess I am still hoping that a fairytale will come my way. A place, a life where everything is easy, where everything just fits and who knows, where everyone is merry and sings, even the animals ;). It might be Neverland (literally, because I'll Never find it) but it might also be the place, the paradise I have always been looking for or for all I know always avoided, because it was right there all along. I guess I'll know when I should and until then, I will always move forward and dream. "I am a lost boy from Neverland and lost boys like me are free".