I am a lost boy / A place to call home

"There was a time when I was alone, nowhere to go and no place to call home". The beginning of a song I first heard in the States about being a Lost Boy (from the Peter Pan story). After hearing it a few times, I began to like the song and hearing it again last week, I found meaning in it. Feeling at home wherever I go but not have a home that I can call my own, being 'lost' but also free. I've also noticed that I can get somewhat attached, but not so much to things, but to people or surroundings, to what can't be bought with money. I'm not sure if it's even being attached or just being used to it.

The other day when I walked from the car to the office building I work at, I looked up to the window on the first floor and I saw a familiar face, a face I see every other day, a face that I have been seeing for a few years now. And in this moment I realized that this would soon be it as my last day here is getting closer and that yes, I either got attached or used to it. And most of what I've done so far or felt attached or used to has been temporarily, but I have always done it with all my heart and given it my all, my best. And all of a sudden, it's like I do want to stay and like I did find my place in it all. But I also don't want to miss out on anything that is yet to come.

And so what do I always do when a chapter in my life is about to end? I start planning another one. Another trip, another activity, anything to keep me busy and happy. And again, maybe leave friends and family behind. And wondering from time to time if it's the right thing to do. I even applied for a job here, because I really am so confused as to what I want to do next...

I guess I am still hoping that a fairytale will come my way. A place, a life where everything is easy, where everything just fits and who knows, where everyone is merry and sings, even the animals ;). It might be Neverland (literally, because I'll Never find it) but it might also be the place, the paradise I have always been looking for or for all I know always avoided, because it was right there all along. I guess I'll know when I should and until then, I will always move forward and dream. "I am a lost boy from Neverland and lost boys like me are free".