Floating in between..

'Secretely', I like being at home in The Netherlands but I also sometimes feel like I don't belong here or anywhere really for that matter. It's hard to explain, but for the last 6 years, I've been at home on and off. And I've felt home or comfortable wherever I go, I make friends or am with family and I love doing that, meeting new people. There was a time here, at home, that I met new people every single time I went out. And of course as we get older ;), we learn who stays and who goes. But those friends also go through a lot themselves, break ups, moving from one place to another, new relationships, new friends, getting married, having kids or getting a pet. And not being there for a lot of that stuff sometimes feels like I am disconnected from them somehow. Like I don't know them that well (anymore), just bits an pieces. It's not a bad thing necessarily. And people say that what I do, is something nobody can ever take away from me. Which is true and I am persistent in making it happen and do what I love and be happy, no matter what the cost. Mostly because I don't want to live my life thinking 'what if' and live with regrets. But what and who I am actually leaving behind every time, are the things and people that later in life (when I finally do decide to not travel this much) I will want to have around me. And it's hard to built on something when there's always a break in between. And every once a blue moon, I do wonder what my life would have been like, had I not gone traveling, time and time again. Would I have had different relationships, friends, jobs, all and all a different life. Of which I am pretty sure I would have. And how to choose between two great paths, happy paths. One of which I live as if there is no tomorrow (which is pretty much what I do) and one as if I Iive to be a hundred and think about the future every once in a while (which is probably what I should do in time). But for some reason I still think that I need to live now, live today, live as if there is no tomorrow, just to get the most out of my life. And thinking about that, I guess it's a small price to pay to just be floating in between everything and have an everlasting natural high :). I am 100% committed to what I do when I do it, but it's never a life long (or long term for that matter) commitment. But eh I've always thought to myself that as long as I do it whilst having fun and being happy, that it must be the right thing to do!