I think it has been no secret that this year hasn't been easy for me. More than ever did I feel like I was on auto pilot. I worked, I functioned, but what for? My body and the universe were trying to tell me a few times that enough was enough by having me fall...fall on my face..and hard..to get me to wake the **** up. And the final time, I hit my rock bottom which turned me into a bit of a zombie for a few days in which I did not recognize myself anymore and told myself I did not want to feel that way anymore. I needed to fix this, fix the balance. Haha, I sound like a superhero trying to save the world. But I was trying to save myself in a way. I had lost almost all that was me, or so it felt. And so I finally booked a trip again far far away....
My eyes lit up but it was still with great caution. I didn't want to get over excited and then get dissapointed if it didn't happen again. But I also couldn't help myself, the joy I felt of finally going on another adventure and doing the thing I love and live for. Turning things around again by pleasing the heart and making my wallet suffer.
It was an organized trip, my first ever. And I kind of dreaded that, but it is the only way to visit Madagascar (well obviously, there's a few other options but none that worked for me). And so when I got to the airport, I spotted some of the group, it had to be. But I wanted no part of it yet. I wanted to fly by myself, and feel all there was to feel of leaving the country again after all this time. And so, guess what, I was surrounded by them on board. One behind me, one next to me and two more next to me on the other side of the aisle. Holy crap, fml, but I plugged in my headphones, watched movie after movie and stayed in my bubble pretending I had no idea who they were. On my second flight I was seated further away from them and sat by myself. I remember landing in Mauritius and thinking, I made it, I am in Africa! We stopped there for gas before flying to our final destination; Madagascar!
After we got our luggage, there was no way around it. I had to meet the others. I did explain myself and why I wanted to be by myself for a bit and they understood and we all laughed about it. The group consisted of 6 others, so 7 including me. The max size is 18 and so with all this extra space, 2 others from the organisation joined us. 7 Dutchies and 5 locals; guide, driver + assistent, an intern and a young guy from the head office. And when I say 'with all this extra space', don't imagine a huge bus with large seats. It was a small bus with small seats. Most of us had two seats, which was great! It made it more comfortable. And I think I would enjoy this trip a whole lot less if I had someone next to me constantly.
There's a few things I wrote down during this trip;
"Cloudy with a chance of happy tears"
"Wind blowing through the tall grass, clouds slowly passing by and Malagassay music playing in the background. Relaxed yet not so relaxed. 'Malagassay' massage, a maze of putholes. Yet a smile appears on my face again, I am here, living life again :-)"
"Green/brown hills, savannah, endless eucalyptus trees, sawas, rock mountains, villages, you name it, they've got it. Except for snow. There's no snow in Madagascar ;-)"
"Random trees left and right, hard to imagine the land was once full of them"
"The hobbit (I read the book while I was there). With stick in hand as if I were the great Gandalf himself and walking barefoot as if am Frodo. Conquering mountains. Fighting my own battles getting myself back, taking my life back, going the distance"
"Waving, endless waving to people, but loving it. Kids running from everywhere just to wave at us. Or kids screaming fazaha (foreigner) at the top of their longs and asking for bonbons"
"Rainforest, leeches, yup one got me"
"Lots of plants that I have myself; euca, bamboo, mother of thousands, bananaplant, devil's ivy (epipremnum aureum), cactus, fern (varen), peace lily (spatyphillum), papyrus (parapluplant), strelitzia, or plants that I know or used to have such as the Madagascar Jewel"
"Fruit trees, lychees, mangos, bananas. But no plucking, bad gris-gris (voodoo)"
Salam/Salama/Salame = Hello
(Not Salami! I said Chorizo. And bapao for the Baobab trees when I couldn't remember the name)
Misoutra = Thank you
Veluma = Good bye
Mastoe = Bon appetit (ezelsbruggetje tast toe)
Mouramoura = Pelan Pelan (Indo), Manana, all in good time
Andawo asafati = Let's go, please
Fazalamana = Cheers (most important and fun!!)
Lulu = Butterfly (papillion, vlinder, schmetterling)
Nunu = boobs (haha funny story)
Raollie (Ra for respect in front of the name)
Kltalitha (for women)
These were the notes I made. All in all it is a beautiful country with so many different landscapes. The people are friendly, their faces have the color of Africans but features from Asians, some of them even looked South American. It is still a very poor country but it also makes them ingenious. Things that were put together or built with whatever they could find, safety was sometimes far to be found though. We went on different hikes, some harder than others. And went in search of animals a bunch of times, mostly lemurs! Also chameleons and other insects that I had never seen before!
There's a million more things to tell you about the country and the things I saw but the things that stuck with me was the interaction with the locals and the group. Dancing to Jeruzalema in a club with locals, getting offered a few Zebu's (their cows) for me to stay, dancing on the boat and people alongside or in the river dancing with me or with us, having a 'blow horn-battle' with a local kid, having fun with the locals and the group on the bus, drinking till late. Getting to know the others I was travelling with. And sharing stories, laughs, meals, heartaches, drinks, a lot of drinks. And it already being a special trip to begin with, it has done me more good than they will ever know. The fire is burning in my heart yet again, and I feel good, happy, smiley. I am grabbing life by the balls and never letting go ever again! And so next up Guatamala on friday the 13th, yup trying out my luck!
Veluma Madagascar, veluma 2022, veluma auto pilot.
And fazalamana to 2023 where all the pieces fall back into place again!
Wishing you all a happy and healthy new year, may the fire in your heart burn!
T.
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